Dating Tales with Cocktails: The Bad Touch (Lady Finger Cocktail)

Samantha’s Story

I was at an upscale whiskey lounge one evening with my gal pal Samantha (not her real name), celebrating her recent interview at the Starbucks corporate office. Sure it was an interview, not a job offer (yet), but in this brutal job market, you celebrate every victory, even small ones.

dalwhinnie_scotch

After studying floor-to-ceiling beverage options, flipping through the whiskey bible and consulting with the bartender, we settled on a fine choice: A shot of Dalwhinnie single malt scotch, followed by another. Diageo’s 15-year-old was a definite crowd-pleaser, with its smoothness, aroma and lingering flavors of honey and peach. It’s no wonder it won a gold medal at the 2015 San Francisco Spirits Competition. A perfect scotch to sip through tales of dating drama.

Sam’s relationship with her man had been pretty stormy lately. I asked if she had a Match or Tinder account yet. “Oh my god, dating SUCKS!”, she replied loud enough to raise eyebrows across the bar. “I still remember how awful the guys were before I met Jason (not his real name), which is why I’ve stuck with him. Seriously, I went on a lot of dates. A LOT! And, oh man, the stories I could tell you!”

whiskeylounge

Sam moved from Some Itty Bitty Town, Washington to big sparkly Seattle for grad school. She made a few half-hearted attempts at exploring the city, but still felt awkward not knowing where anything was or anyone to show her around. Tom, who went to the same grad school, had seen Sam wandering around downtown alone a couple of times. Eager for a friend and grateful for his attention, Sam accepted Tom’s invitations to cafes, movie houses and bars – anyplace a couple of dirt-poor grad students could have a good time, for not a lot of money. Plus, Tom was not a bad-looking guy.

After another heavy makeout session at his studio apartment, they decided they wanted to take it to the next level. Sam, with her unusual Russian-European beauty, had been with plenty of men. Plenty. She had a healthy sexual appetite, and was up for just about anything.

But not this.

sippingscotch

“Stick your finger in there,” Tom said, lying naked on top of the sheets with his back to Sam.

“You want me to stick my finger in…” Sam felt she couldn’t finish her sentence, even as she tried to not sound like some blushing naive bumpkin.

He had told her it felt so good, in ways he couldn’t even describe. There are so many nerves clustered in that little area that the pleasure centers are overwhelming, he explained. So not wanting to be a silly spoilsport, she continued to play along, moving her finger to the spot he directed her to. For all her impressive experience with men, she had never rubbed anyone’s prostate gland before. Now if she could only just find the damn thing.

Weird, she thought. What WAS that? Something floating…disturbing texture…she started to pull her finger out. Something dark and squishy was on it! Tom suddenly grabbed her hand and shoved her finger back in. Oh my God, she thought, was that feces?? “EW EW EW!”, her mind screamed even as she rubbed his prostate gland. Since his back was to her, Tom couldn’t see the shock and disgust flitting back and forth on Sam’s face that whole time.

After he had climaxed, Sam told Tom she needed to leave. Something on her research report she realized she had forgotten to add. Sam also decided she needed to get out more and make other friends, since she had no intention of hanging out with Tom ever again.


The Lady Finger Cocktail
(courtesy of absolutdrinks.com)

1 part gin
1 part cherry brandy

Combine, shake with ice, serve neat.

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Absinthe: Green Fairy Cocktail Party

ladiescocktail_absinthe2

 

“None of which equals the poison welling up in your eyes that show me my poor soul reversed, my dreams throng to drink at those green distorting pools.” Baudelaire comparing and preferring absinthe to wine and opium in his poem “Poison”.

Absinthe has enjoyed a tantalizing reputation steeped in decadence, myth and controversy for over a century – the kind of popularity and staying power big-screen actors and rock stars would envy today. Invented in 18th century Val-de-Travers Switzerland, this supposed hallucination-inducing liquor has been rumored to cause convulsions, blackouts, visions of little green fairies, and rampant psychosis. The Fed’s ban on selling absinthe in the U.S. was in effect for decades.

In the 1990’s, its popularity grew worldwide, and eventually – around 2007 – the Fed allowed two European distillers to sell the liquor Stateside. Since then, many have attempted to tap the green fairy portal for visions of demons, angels, creative genius, and so forth. Some say a toxic chemical in wormwood, one of the main ingredients in absinthe along with anise, may have been the cause of these extreme symptoms, and not the liquor itself. According to one recent BBC article, however, “Contemporary analysis indicates that the chemical thujone in wormwood was present in such minute quantities in properly distilled absinthe as to cause little psychoactive effect. It’s more likely that the damage was done by severe alcohol poisoning from drinking twelve to twenty shots a day.”

How to Serve Absinthe

These days, many bar menus feature absinthe as part of a cocktail mixture. The two most popular methods to serve absinthe have been the Absinthe Drip and the flaming sugar cube. The Absinthe Drip, a classic method, involves the slow-drip of cold water onto a sugar cube sitting on a perforated spoon, held over a glass of absinthe.

absinthe_sugarcube

 

The water drips through the cube and into the absinthe, sweetening it.

 

absinthe_myfirst

 

With the very stylish flaming cube method, you put the sugar cube on the perforated spoon, on top of an empty glass. You then pour the absinthe over the cube, soaking it as the liquid flows into the glass. Then, purely for the sake of showmanship, the cube is lit on fire, and the melted sugar slowly drips into the absinthe. Follow this up by adding ice cold water to the absinthe to get the cloudy effect.

Absinthe’s alcohol content of between 45% and 74% could provide a “transcendent” experience, although mainly without fairies.

I was at a bar one evening, nervously watching a very tall, red-wigged, platform-heeled drag queen in a green dress staring silently and very intensely at me through the gauzey curtains surrounding my candlelit alcove, before suddenly sprinting off into the darkness. The lesson here is, if you’re in the right place at the right time, green fairies can be seen even without absinthe.

 

Death in the Afternoon
A cocktail invented by Ernest Hemingway. Recipe in his own words:

“Pour one jigger absinthe into a Champagne glass. Add iced Champagne until it attains the proper opalescent milkiness. Drink three to five of these slowly.”

 


Sources:

Photos by JE Alexandria Julaton at Raven & Rose

http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1689232,00.html?imw http://www.bbc.com/culture/story/20140109-absinthe-a-literary-muse http://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,2031497_2031504_2031460,00.html http://www.wikihow.com/Prepare-Absinthe http://liquor.com/articles/biggest-absinthe-myths/

Cocktail Etiquette: Surviving a Chinese Drinking Party

Station staff looking after drunken businessman

 

There’s an old Chinese saying that goes: “No social ties can be formed in the absence of alcohol.” Be it networking, new friendships or strengthening spiritual bonds, a very good time can be had with cocktails as social lubricants. But if you’re in China, don’t let these moments be ruined over a clumsy faux pas, or several.

Here are some rules and guidelines in place to maintain good guanxi (relationships), and hopefully keep you from turning yourself into a pariah:

The Toast

You’re at a fancy banquet, rubbing elbows with the C-Suite and execs from a partner company. The party’s just getting started, and you want to capture the moment with a toast. Restrain yourself immediately!

There is a hierarchy that comes into play when it comes to toasts. The main host makes the first toast, which is sometimes directed at the guest of honor. Everyone then raises their glass and downs a hefty swig. When you come up for air, that glass better be empty. If someone higher up the corporate food chain proposes a toast to you, raise your own glass with your right hand, makng sure its rim is lower than theirs. If he/she drinks the entire cocktail, you should do the same with yours. Guests are then free to move about. But when away from their seats, the first person they should raise their glasses to should be the other company’s highest-ranking person.

The Drinking Game

As you run amok, making toasts to and with everyone else in sight, there are just a few more rules to wrap your cocktail-soaked brain around.

What? More rules? Yep. First of all, “Gan Bei” is Chinese for “Cheers”. Shout it loud and proud. Also, if you clink glasses with someone, it’s bottoms up! If your glasses don’t clink, you can drink any amount of your cocktail, even just a sip.

When everyone starts slamming shots of baiju – the traditional firewater in these parts – you’re in for some interesting times. One tactic to ensure you don’t end up passed out in your own vomit an hour later along with fellow “Gan Bei”-ers, is to switch to a less potent beverage, like doing shots of wine or beer, instead of baiju. You can even try sneaking some water into your wine. Yes, doing wine shots sounds nasty, but they’re less toxic than baiju, which is made from distilled sorghum and has an alcohol content of about 53 percent. Either way, you may be still be hung over and praying for death the next morning.

But what happens with guests who don’t drink, you may wonder. At an event like this, a person who does not drink while others do is pretty much regarded as an outcast with a slim chance of making any important business deals. However, an excuse like religion or health reasons may help you save face, even if it still makes you fair game for teasing. Best excuse: pregnancy, either being pregnant if you’re a woman, or taking special medication to get your wife pregnant if you’re a man.

At this point, you may be wondering if the same bottoms-up “Gan Bei”-ing rules apply to non-pregnant women. If she’s at one of these banquets, she won’t be expected to drink. But if she does partake, she’d better keep up with the boys!

Gan Bei!

Sources:

Photo by iStock

Drinking at Chinese Business Banquets: A Primer
http://blogs.wsj.com/scene/2013/06/28/drinking-at-chinese-business-banquets-a-primer/

How to Survive a Chinese Drinking Frenzy
http://travel.cnn.com/shanghai/drink/5-chinese-drinking-habits-explains-621771

Maotai auction reaps RMB 5.22 million
http://travel.cnn.com/shanghai/drink/maotai-sells-rmb-522-million-432520

The Whiskey Library

whiskeytasting

“Whiskey, like a beautiful woman, demands appreciation. You gaze first, then it’s time to drink.” (Haruki Murakami)

I waited in line to get into the fairly new, and already very popular, Multnomah Whiskey Library one evening. According to the other customers I chatted with, there’s always a waiting list. If you wanted to make reservations and skip the lines, you’d have to purchase membership, and currently they’re full. The Library was a high-ceilinged, chandeliered modern pub of dark wood, leather and exposed brick, with two of its walls covered by shelves showcasing whiskies from around the world, along with other choice hard liquors. Jaunty Scottish and Irish instrumental classics played in the background, and yet the noise level was comfortably moderate; it never got so loud that you couldn’t hear what the person was saying to you from across your table, even with all the hard surfaces.

The Library made it a point to never exceed their maximum capacity of 50 customers in a room at a time, so there were never too many people loudly crowded into a room, bumping into each other and spilling their expensive drinks. As soon as I was seated and looked around, I noticed a majority of the patrons that night appeared to be in their late 20s to early 40s, with a slightly higher men-to-women ratio. My eyes explored the room and paused at a very well-dressed man sitting at a lounge chair a few feet away. He was slowly swirling a dark liquid in a snifter, possibly a Scotch.

According to the Scotch Whisky Association, Scotch connoisseurs recommend sipping from a tulip-shaped glass, or any glass with a wide base and narrow mouth, to improve the tasting experience. For example:

properglass

I watched him quietly sip his beverage with such obvious pleasure, and realized I have never seen a man rush through a glass of premium Scotch, or toss it back quickly. Oh, to be a glass of really good Scotch – to be tasted slowly, savored completely, and enjoyed with complete focus.

This place had pretty much everything that will put you in a really good mood – world-class liquors, tasty appetizers (the bacon-wrapped dates and crab fritters were fabulous!), and a very attractive staff. Lovely ladies greeted you at the door, my server looked like he’d stepped out of a men’s clothing catalog, the bartender with the great smile and brawny good looks was very attentive…I could go on and on.

whisklibpiccombo

I turned my attention to the menu. The prices were a bit steep, with whiskey tastings ranging from $14 to much higher. Expect to pay for the level of selection and superiority one prefers in fine beverages, as well as for the exclusivity and ambience of a place that offers them. Classic cocktails, gins, vodkas, rums, beers, wines, and so on, were also well represented. But if you’re at a place that calls itself a “whiskey library”, you order the whiskey.

I ordered a Talisker Storm single malt Scotch, from the shores of the Isle of Skye. As I raised the glass for a sip, I was pleasantly surprised by the peat-y, smokey aroma. Some people don’t like a smokey Scotch. With that first sip, a delicious warmth spread from my throat to throughout my body. I gasped softly and shut my eyes as the room swayed a bit and my cheeks tingled pleasantly.

scotchwhiskey

Wow. The boldness, the smoothness. And interestingly, the flavor wasn’t nearly as smokey as I thought it would be, considering the first fragrant impression. With its blend of new and old scotches, Talisker Storm managed to smooth out the smokiness. Nicely done!

Interestingly, there are articles online on how to properly drink and enjoy a Scotch. According to an askmen.com article, entitled “10 Things to Know About Drinking Whiskey“, the process is as follows:

Aroma: Swirl the whisky around the glass and take in the aromas as they are released. Don’t poke your nose straight into the glass, as all you’ll pick up is alcohol.

Taste: Take a nice, long sip and let the whisky feel its way around your entire mouth before swallowing.

Finish: A good whisky should linger like a fond memory, and you will still be feeling and tasting it for minutes afterward.

According to a “How to Drink Scotch” article I found online:

“Before actually drinking the Scotch, take a moment to savor the scent of the Scotch. Doing so will help to prepare the taste buds for the flavor that is about to come. Sip a small amount of Scotch. Allow the Scotch to settle onto the tongue and gently move the liquid around the mouth. This action will distribute the flavor and enhance the pleasure derived from the drink. After a moment, swallow the Scotch and prepare to enjoy another sip.”

In my opinion, as with any all-encompassing, sensual experience, I’d say the only right way to enjoy such a moment is to do so completely and at your own pace.

Cheers!

Gie him strong drink until he wink, That’s sinking in despair; An’ liquor guid to fire his bluid, That’s prest wi’ grief and care: There let him bouse, an’ deep carouse, Wi’ bumpers flowing o’er, Till he forgets his loves or debts, An’ minds his griefs no more. (Robert Burns)


Interior shots #3 & 4 courtesy of Multnomah Whiskey Library website
Articles mentioned in blog: http://www.ehow.com/how_2304608_drink-scotch.html http://www.askmen.com/top_10/entertainment/the-expert-10-things-to-know-about-drinking-whiskey_3.html

Dark Matter and Irish Times

irishtimes_darkmatter2

One of my biggest regrets about my visit to Victoria BC was not doing a pub crawl between the British, Scottish and Irish pubs downtown. However, being determined to die with little or no regrets in life, I endeavor to go forth with this worthy cause one way or another. It’s important to have goals, after all. Therefore, even with all the whirlwind of activity involving family gatherings, sightseeing and visits to local hot spots, I was able to fit in a few stops at various watering holes.

During a wander downtown, I suddenly stopped in my tracks. An Irish pub sat just to the right of the Scottish pub, which sat next to the British pub. Seeing them all lined up in a row like that, all just a stagger away from each other…well, that just put a smile on my face and made my eyes go all sparkly! Lovers of good beer, you know what I’m talking about! Unfortunately, I had dinner reservations soon, plus some freshening up to do beforehand (I am a girl, after all), so I could only pick one pub this time. My boyfriend, being Irish, recommended we try the Irish Times pub first, of course.

Irish Times

Unlike many Irish pubs I’ve been to in the U.S., the Irish Times pub doesn’t have the charmingly rustic feel of old neighborhood pubs in Dublin. High cream-colored ceilings, dark wood arches, crimson walls, gold etching and immense windows made this possibly the most stylish Irish pub I’ve ever tarried in. Still, they tried to make it feel less “uppity” with prominent displays of random, antique pub accessories, growlers and small kegs.


But enough about the ambience – let’s get to the beers! The Irish Times boasts an impressive array of domestic and imported beers (the picture only shows one section of the bar). As a bonus (and my boyfriend certainly thought it was), they get served to you by ladies with small kilts and big smiles. Looking around at the happy crowd around me, I’d say many would agree that this is a fine way to spend a gray, cold wintery afternoon.


I ordered a delicious pint of “Dark Matter”, a fills-your-mouth, sigh-inducing, dark-colored beauty of a beer that is part stout, part lager. Made with mild hops and roasted malt, the richness of this lovely brunette is balanced and smooth, with no trace of bitterness. I decided I must have this splendid craft beer.

Sadly, “Dark Matter” is made by Hoyne Brewing Company, which only distributes in Canada. Their “sin tax” would likely make it cost a small fortune to purchase a case online, assuming it was even possible. And so I’m back home reminiscing about that wondrous beer and the cozy Irish Times pub, and telling friends about it. Victoria BC has given me a few more reasons to visit again soon. In the meantime, I’m off to my comparative study of Irish/Scottish/British pubs.

 


All photos taken by JE Alexandria Julaton

Urban Sanctuary: The Hotel deLuxe

hoteldel_lobbynew

I wandered into the Hotel deLuxe one evening some weeks ago, to catch up with friends over martinis. On my way in, I passed a middle-aged fashionista making her way down the steps to a town car, Gucci bag under one arm, mini lap dog under the other. At the top of the entryway and through the door, a towering classic black-and-white movie still confirmed my destination. The lush palms, and soft cream and peach colors with touches of gold gave the elegant, high-ceilinged lobby an irresistible warmth, making it a welcome alternative to the cold damp streets I’ve just walked in from.

I found one of my friends sitting in one of the lobby chairs with a “this place is amazing!” huge grin on his face. We took turns naming off all the old Hollywood movies we’re seen recently, as we waited for another friend to arrive.

Gracie’s

Entering Gracie’s was like wandering into a 1940s/1950s Hollywood movie set, where a fabulous dinner scene was about to be filmed. We were one of the first arrivals, and took in all its vintage glory in loud, open wonderment, to the amusement of the waitstaff. Throughout dinner, I secretly hoped for the dining room to soon fill with handsome tuxedoed men, and women looking like beautifully dressed Vargas girls on their arms, like in the casino dining room scene in “Gilda”, starring the incomparable Rita Hayworth.

 

driftwood1

Driftwood Room

We wandered across the hall for post-dinner drinks at the Driftwood Room. The long, curved bar, dark wood and kitschy design pulled together a room reminiscent of the 1960s/1970s. As we waited for our cocktails to arrive, it seemed like Don Draper and Joan could, at any moment, come in from out of the rain to have drinks at this very bar. Don would order a couple of Manhattans, and the bartender would hand them a full-page list of Manhattan Martini options, all named after movies and movie stars. Because the Driftwood Room is just that cool.

Movie Posters and Cinema

Cocktails in hand, the three of us wandered throughout the hallways on every floor to see the movie posters the bartender told us about. We made a contest out of who could name the movies the poster scenes were from. We were so laughably bad at it. Which is probably why, for people not lucky enough to have seen these movies in their heyday, the hotel has a small cinema where anyone can watch free screenings of classic films while sipping a toddy in their comfy chair.

With the global economic downturn in the last half decade leaving everyone feeling worried, it’s easy to see how one would want to escape to another time – one when the world still felt magical, hopeful; when women were goddesses, and the men who worshipped them, courageous and heroic. Hotel deLuxe is one such gilded sanctuary. My next visit here will definitely include a long evening dress, Manhattans and a classic movie.

*Note: The Driftwood Room no longer offers themed Manhattans.

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Driftwood’s Signature Manhattan (barrel aged)

(Measurements are approximates only)

1 oz Cherry Bomb Bourbon
1 oz Burnside Bourbon
1/2 oz Martini & Rossi sweet vermouth
1/2 oz Taylor port
2 dashes of Peychaud’s bitters

Combine in a mixing glass, add a fistful of ice. Stir for about 20 seconds, and serve up neat in a Martini glass.

———————————————-

Lobby, cinema and hall posters images courtesy of Hotel deLuxe.

The Manly Pedi

manlypedipic

 

How many guys would “man up” for a manly pedi?

Don’t know about you ladies, but I have certainly been seeing a resurgence of metrosexual activity in our midst. At a recent visit to my day spa, I noticed several men donned in robes, sipping their herbal teas next to the water feature, awaitng their treatments. Even those who go for a more hipster bad boy appearance are putting serious effort into their stylized and strategically trimmed facial hair. The term “manscaping” has been floated about, but we’ll delve into that in a future post.

How did this interest in appearance and wellness come about, I wonder? Are men feeling more optimistic? Do they merely want a change from the scraggly, unkempt look that was rampant during the Recession? Have we really reached “peak beard”?

For some guys, what the ladies like is incentive enough. HELL yeah! In a recent CNBC.com article, entitled “More men indulge in spa treatments, tailored just for them“, there has been a steady growth in male customers at spas in the last 10 years – about 33 percent. However, that number surged to 47 percent in just the last year. As mentioned by spa association president, Lynne McNees, in this article, the main reason is the increased effort in catering to, and creating treatments around, men’s preferences.

Men’s spa rooms are decorated with a more rugged ambiance, such as wood paneling and more masculine colors, like purple (Purple? Really?). Spa menus reveal offerings and treatment names with a just-for-men angle, like a facial fragrant with sandalwood and citrus instead of flowers, and a deep massage using Texas ale, followed by more for drinking.

Outside of the spas, men have adopted routines to maintain themselves. These range from the periodic, like pedicures, to the daily, such as using men’s spendy specialty face and body products. In my opinion, there’s nothing “sissy” about men taking pride in their appearance.

chaz

One such metrosexual is Chaz. While he’s managing and recruiting fresh talent for his company, or hunting game in the wilderness with full-on guns-and-gear, there’s one thing you can definitely count on – his toenails are impeccable! Like many a metrosexual, he believes it’s important for a man to take good care of himself. For him, part of that means daily and periodic grooming rituals, monthly spa treatments and pedicures.

I asked him for his view on the manly pedi. “I like the salon treatment because then I know they’re being done correctly and my feet feel awesome afterwards. I have good toes!” Chaz told me proudly, “And yes, I DO own more than eight pairs of shoes.” Like the men mentioned in the article, he doesn’t go in for the fragrant lotions or perfumed water. His preference is clean, basic pedicures that involve foot scrubs to remove dead skin, and finish with a clear polish to protect the nails. Haircuts for him are done at a trendy salon.

“To me,” Chaz explained, “spending a little bit extra to get the correct haircut is just as important as finding the right jacket.” And we all know, ladies, that the right jacket can not only pull a look together, it can also completely class it up. Once a month, he goes out of town for hot tubbing and body wraps at a favorite hot springs resort. For those of you who haven’t tried it, this detoxifying treatment involves wrapping someone’s body with algae, seaweed, mud, clay, or hot blankets like a mummy (Chaz’s preference). The clients have these wraps removed in about 20 minutes, then follow it up with a warm, refreshing shower and an all-over slather of softening creams.

His daily routine includes a deep moisturizing treatment facial lotion he gets at a department store cosmetic counter. Because some ladies do like smooth soft skin on their guys. “Everything I do is for the ladies!” Chaz grins.

And that puts you on our radar, mah man! Right, ladies?

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The Slightly Dirty Martini (Chaz’s recipe)

Jar of green olives

Vodka

Vermouth

Portions are to taste

Put vodka in the shaker and add a little bit of green olive juice. Introduce the shaker to the vermouth, let the two mingle, then put vermouth back on the shelf. Shake it like you mean it, then pour it into a Martini glass.